Introduction
A narcissistic person is characterized by an unreasonably high sense of importance. These kinds of people are self-obsessed with themselves and need more attention and the desire to be liked by everyone. People with this condition fail to appreciate others’ feelings. They cannot recognize their self-worth and are easily offended by slight criticism.
A narcissistic personality disorder can cause problems with many aspects of daily activities like areas such as work, relationships, and finances. They are displeased when not given the admiration or favor they deserve. They generally do not enjoy being with people around them.
What Is Narcissistic Abuse?
The term narcissistic abuse is a type of emotional abuse with a narcissistic personality disorder. The people have low empathy and expect others to be lower than them. This attitude can lead to harmful and toxic behaviors. The abuse is complicated to endure. Narcissists abuse, insult, threat, and manipulate others into doing what they want. Examples of narcissistic activities include emotional blackmail withholding, insults, malicious gossip, and charges.
Who Is a Narcissistic Abuser?
The effects of narcissistic abuse are highly variable. The products range from mild to severe. The narcissistic abuser lives with depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, a lack of self-worth, and an inability to forgive oneself. They are the masters of disguise and manipulation. The abuse can be psychological, financial, sexual, and emotional. Emotional abuse is in the form of accusations, put-downs, criticism, and threats. They enjoy contradicting the other person in front of everyone. Withholding money, isolation, and lying about the other person are examples of narcissistic behavior. Narcissists use their tactics to damage their partner’s self-esteem and confidence to gain control over them or the relationship. The abuser can make their partner to feel crazy about themselves. So the partner cannot handle this stress and seek help from their family and friends, running away from the abuser.
What Are the Signs of Narcissistic Abuse?
The signs of a narcissistic abuser are as follows:
-
Emotional Abuse - In a toxic relationship, emotions are used as a tool for blackmail. They always try to make the other person guilty and fearful.
-
Gaslighting - It is the intentional act of making someone feel unworthy and creating distrust in them. The narcissistic abuse victim feels more anxious and less confident and blames themselves for no fault of theirs when things go wrong. There is a sense of something wrong, but the victim cannot identify the exact cause of the problem. The guilt of making more excuses for their partner’s behavior.
-
Lack of Empathy - Usually, the narcissistic person lacks empathy or the ability to express emotions. That is why the non-narcissistic partner will not feel cared for in a narcissistic relationship and exhibit signs of loneliness and sadness.
-
Exploitation - The narcissists take advantage of others without shame or guilt, leaving the victims unloved.
-
Ignoring Boundaries - The abuser disrespects the other person’s privacy. They read their messages, follow them, and do things that shouldn't be done without the person's knowledge.
-
Projecting - They refuse to accept the blame or mistakes. They often put their mistakes on others using a simple technique called DARVO. DARVO means to deny, attack, reverse, victim, and offend. They dump their issues onto their victim instead of taking the blame. For example, the abuser accuses the partner of lying and makes them feel guilty when they haven't done anything wrong.
-
Insulting Others - They criticize harshly to chip away at the victim's self-esteem. Abusers will try to disguise the victim’s behavior sarcastically.
-
Accusations - In a narcissistic relationship abuse, the victim is accused of cheating or other negative behaviors.
What Are the Effects on Narcissistic Abuse Victims?
The effects on victims of narcissistic abuse are:
-
Depression - The victims suffer from feelings of worthlessness for months or years. The abusers constantly make them feel useless and stupid for silly reasons or no reason. Then, after many years of gaslighting and abuse, the victim feels isolated, and depression sets in.
-
Post-traumatic Stress - The brain of the victims will be on high alert, looking out for danger constantly. Because these traumatic events have triggered a flight or fight response within them that adapted to those unpleasant experiences, as years pass, those memories can induce anxiety attacks in the victims. The victims are always unaware of the consecutive actions of the abuser. The victim finds it difficult to rest in peace because of the chronic hypervigilance and expects to be around them at every corner.
-
Loss of Sense of Self-Worth - One of the techniques of narcissistic abusers is brainwashing. It can destroy the sense of self-worth. The person will no longer be the person that they were before. The narcissistic abuse victim will struggle to recognize themselves in the mirror. They have trust issues with others and constantly find themselves doubting or second-guessing themselves. This can lead to embarrassment and shame, stopping them from seeking help. They easily get confused with simple decisions or cannot make any decisions.
-
Inability to Forgive Themselves - They feel something is inherently wrong with themselves because the abuser has made them believe so. Their self-esteem goes so down that they believe narcissists would have treated them better if they had done things differently.
-
Physical Symptoms - After the abuse, the person will live with those symptoms, including stomach aches, headaches, and body aches. The person will find it difficult to shut off the brain at night or have nightmares that can haunt them.
-
Cognitive Problems - After facing many fits of abuse, the person might feel challenged to concentrate on everyday tasks. The past and present memories of traumatic events haunt them so much that they will interfere with their concentration and focus.
What Are the Methods to Heal From Narcissistic Abuse?
-
Joining a Support Group - The affected person can join the group with people who have had similar experiences. They can offer advice to cope with the stress.
-
Practicing Self-care - When self-esteem has taken a hit, the person will feel unworthy. To overcome this, it is essential to practice self-care and love. This includes enough sleep, eating good food, and participating in fun activities.
-
Education - Learning the pattern of behavior of narcissists to recognize them easily when they try to manipulate them.
-
Reach Out to a Therapist or Self-Care - A therapist can encourage you to cope with the stress and safely heal from the abuse.
Conclusion
The narcissistic abuser can cause the victim such effects that they develop harmful coping mechanisms and experience self-destructive habits. Therefore, it is suitable to practice self-care to ensure a healthy life.
