Emotional Dependency - Ways to Overcome It

Introduction:

Many of us seek emotional support from family members, partners, and friends. This support is always beneficial. Being emotionally dependent on someone for basic needs is emotional dependency. Unfortunately, people everywhere are unaware of this condition and experience these emotional states.

What Is an Emotional Dependency?

Emotional dependence is a dependent psychological condition in which a person wholly depends on another person for feelings such as joy, guilt, anger, fear, or distress. The particular person has the inadequacy to take responsibility for their emotions, expressions, and feelings. And whenever their loved ones are not around, the person with emotional dependence does not have control over themselves and feels lost. The locus of control is completely outside, and as a result, they always seek the proximity of others to fill this lacuna.

What Causes Emotional Dependence?

There are no such causative factors for emotional dependence. However, several qualities of a person determine and discrepant him emotionally dependent or independent. Humankind with the following themes is more likely to have an emotional dependency.

• Low self-esteem.

• Insecurities.

• Lack of self-confidence.

• Horrible past experiences.

• Poor past relationships.

• Excessive emotional attitude.

• Inexpressive.

• Conditions like substance abuse and an obsessive eating disorder.

In addition, emotional dependency can be the manifestation of certain underlying disorders.

• Obsessive-compulsive disorders in relationships.

• Trauma.

• Attachment style in childhood.

• Narcissistic personality disorder (victim tendency).

Is Emotional Dependence a Pathology?

Emotional dependence is associated with low self-esteem, difficulty in making decisions, and intense fear of deserting. These qualities may limit personal freedom and genuineness, leading to emotional prison.

Increased levels of emotional dependency, particularly in the absence of social loss, along with chronic, severe depressive symptoms, express the pathology.

Emotional dependence is a pathological trait of normal personality dimensions, like the need to be loved and valued, especially if these are not met during childhood.

Emotional dependence can be associated with other behavioral dependencies like pathological gambling and compulsive buying. These traits exhibit carelessness and lack of control.

Pathological dependence is observed as an expression of insecurity and lack of trust. This differs from normal dependence.

Emotional dependence can result in many mental health problems like anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems.

What Are the Characteristics of an Emotionally Dependent Person?

The characteristics of an emotionally dependent person include:

Need for Approval and Validation: Emotionally dependent persons depend on others for approval, validation, and emotional security. This results in the incapability to make their own decisions and low self-esteem.

Negative Emotional State: Emotionally dependent individuals experience negative feelings like loneliness, sadness, discouragement, guilt, and emotional emptiness. They may exhibit the desire for self-destruction and feel emotionally trapped.

Fear of Being Deserted: These individuals' fear of abandonment leads them to rely on the person on whom they depend.

Personality Traits: Emotionally dependent people exhibit characteristics like disharmoniousness, proneness to affective responses, and low conformity. They also have poorly developed self-control and solve problems irrationally.

Emotional Inescapability: Emotionally dependent people exhibit emotional inescapability, which means they find it hard to live without the person they depend on. This results in a lack of freedom and authenticity.

What Are the Consequences of Emotional Dependence?

The consequence of emotional dependence results in difficulty in making decisions, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and negative social behaviors.

What Does Emotional Dependence Look Like?

Emotional dependence can be described by negative feelings like loneliness, sadness, discouragement, guilt, and emotional emptiness, along with a desire to self-destruct and emotional inescapability.

How to Identify People With Emotional Dependence?

It is quite challenging to recognize or identify humans with emotional dependence as they mostly ignore their situations and refuse to accept them. However, the symptoms and characteristics of a person with emotional dependence are mentioned below.

• Avoiding the circumstances of being alone.

• The exaggerated fear of losing or leaving someone they love the most.

• Low self-esteem.

• Behavioral changes are often noticed as they take the power to be with their loved ones. Behavioral changes include changes in their fundamental activities, routines, and personality.

• Guilt feelings when their people are not satisfied.

• Persistent feelings of love and affection.

• Exhibit anxiety and depression when they do not receive the attention they want.

• They avoid conflicts by pleasing their loved ones even though the mistake is not theirs.

• They can go to places just to keep the relationship firmer.

• Expressing jealousy and possession habitually.

How Can Emotional Dependence Be Prevented?

Our emotions and personality develop as soon as we are in childhood, which is a great challenge, too. We grow with emotions through the years. Maintaining good emotional health could prevent us from becoming emotionally dependent. In addition, cherishing our self-esteem, feelings, and self-confidence would eventually lead us to become emotionally independent. However, we must also comprehend how to overcome insecurities.

What Is the Management of Emotional Dependence?

When the key to control is not in our hands, psychologists diagnose and treat the condition through various methods and guide us to be quite solitary and emotionally independent in the future. Firstly, the therapies focus on recognizing the condition, detecting the cause, and treating it. Then, medical practitioners commonly perform the succeeding interventions.

• Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy, EMDR.

• Emotion-focused therapy, EFT.

• Hypnotherapy or medical hypnosis.

• Couples therapy.

• Personal rehabilitation therapies.

How to Overcome Emotional Dependence?

Though emotional dependency has some threats, people can easily overcome them when they display the right actions and thoughts. The decisions and achievements they make depend on others in this condition. The consecutive steps are simple and reliable for overcoming emotional dependency.

• Be Emotionally Strong: Foremost, realize one's emotions are theirs and not others. Whenever one feels low, they should have their own time and cope with such feelings and never seek others to fix them. And develop patience.

• Expand Mental Strength: The internal mental capacity determines one’s behavior. Practice meditation and breathing exercises and spend time with nature. Improving positive thoughts and feelings would eventually result in excellent mental strength. Practice meditation and breathing exercises and spend time with nature.

• Spend Time Alone: Take time for yourself by sitting quietly in a place of interruptions. One can give oneself a pep talk, go for a walk, paint, or write an article. Explore the thoughts and urges when alone, and work on that. This practice, sooner or later, embraces self-esteem.

• Take Care of Yourself: It is vital to be concerned about one's physical and mental health. Give priority to one's desires, interests, and goals. Never expect others to care for one's needs; be there for oneself. One should make one's own decisions.

• Avoid the Triggering Elements of Emotional Dependency: Attempt to identify the triggering factors that make one dependent on someone and get rid of them as soon as possible. For example, triggering factors include stress from external family conflicts or past experiences and flaws.

• Extend Socialization: Have time with different people than family and friends. Get to know new people in jobs, schools, and colleges. Donate stuff and love.

• Get Rid of the Past: Many people have fear and anxiety from past experiences that would simply interfere with their present and dependency. Therefore, do not ever recall such thoughts and past relations.

• Be Independent: It is all about not being emotionally dependent on others. Dependency is considered healthy only when one moves with respect, empathy, and except for neediness.

• Meet one's basic needs and manage them on their own. Know what one wants and never let others know first.

• Do not seek permission from others, even for minor stuff.

• Practice self-love.

• One should never get angry or guilty when someone is disheartened. Instead, take everything in a good and friendly way and sort it out.

• Practice productive things rather than being lazy around.

• Have patience.

• Get guidance from professionals in case of toughness.

Conclusion:

Emotional dependency is not a significant condition or illness to worry about. However, identifying those trigger factors and ensuring self-love and self-time would eventually prevent emotional dependency. End of the day, self-connection and self-esteem matter.