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Emotional Dependency - Ways to Overcome It

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Emotional dependency primarily means an inability to normalize and acknowledge one's emotions, feelings, thoughts, and actions. And one clings to others for fulfillment.

Medically reviewed by

Paratwar Nayana Kapil

Published At December 13, 2022
Reviewed AtFebruary 28, 2023

Introduction:

Many of us seek support from family members, partners, and friends. This emotional support is always beneficial. Being emotionally dependent on someone for basic needs is emotional dependency. Unfortunately, people everywhere are unaware of this condition and undergo these emotional states.

What Is an Emotional Dependency?

Emotional dependence is a dependent psychological condition in which a person wholly depends on another person for feelings such as joy, guilt, anger, fear, or distress. The particular person has the inadequacy to take responsibility for their emotions, expressions, and feelings. And whenever their loved ones are not around, the person with emotional dependence does not have control over themselves and feels lost. The locus of control is completely outside, and as a result, they always seek the proximity of others to fill this lacuna.

What Causes Emotional Dependence?

There are no such causative factors for emotional dependence. However, several qualities of a person determine and discrepant him emotionally dependent or independent. Humankind with the following themes is more likely to have an emotional dependency.

  • Low self-esteem.

  • Insecurities.

  • Lack of self-confidence.

  • Horrible past experiences.

  • Poor past relationships.

  • Excessive emotional attitude.

  • Inexpressive.

  • Conditions like substance abuse and an obsessive eating disorder.

In addition, emotional dependency can be the manifestation of certain underlying disorders.

  • Obsessive compulsive disorders in relationships.
  • Trauma.
  • Attachment syle in childhood.
  • Narcisstic personality disorder (victim tendency).

How to Identify People With Emotional Dependence?

It is quite challenging to recognize or identify humans with emotional dependence as they mostly ignore their situations and refuse to accept them. However, the symptoms and characteristics of a person with emotional dependence are mentioned below.

  • Avoiding the circumstances of being alone.

  • The exaggerated fear of losing or leaving someone they love the most.

  • Low self-esteem.

  • Behavioral changes are often noticed as they take power to be with their loved ones. Behavioral changes include changes in their fundamental activities, routines, and personality.

  • Guilt feeling when their people are not satisfied.

  • Persistent feelings of love and affection.

  • Exhibit anxiety and depression when they do not receive the attention they want.

  • They avoid conflicts by pleasing their loved ones even though the mistake is not theirs.

  • They can go to places just to keep the relationship firmer.

  • Expressing jealousy and possession habitually.

How Can Emotional Dependence Be Prevented?

Our emotions and personality develop as soon as we are in childhood, which is a great challenge too. We grow with emotions through the years. Maintaining good emotional health could prevent us from emotional dependence. In addition, cherishing our self-esteem, feelings, and self-confidence would eventually lead us to become emotionally independent. However, we must also comprehend to overcome insecurities.

What Is the Management of Emotional Dependence?

When the key to control is not in our hands, psychologists diagnose and treat the condition through various methods and guide us to be quite solitary and emotionally independent in the future. Firstly, the therapies focus on recognizing the condition, detecting the cause, and treating it. Then, medical practitioners commonly perform the succeeding interventions.

How to Overcome Emotional Dependence?

Though emotional dependency has some threats, people can easily overcome them when they display the right actions and thoughts. The decisions and achievements they make depend on others in this condition. The consecutive steps are simple and reliable for overcoming emotional dependency.

  • Be Emotionally Strong: Foremost, realize ones emotions are theirs and not others. Whenever one feels low, they should have their own time and cope with such feelings and never seek others to fix them. And develop patience.

  • Expand Mental Strength: The internal mental capacity determines one’s behavior. Practice meditation and breathing exercises and spend time with nature. Improving positive thoughts and feelings would eventually result in excellent mental strength. Practice meditation and breathing exercises and spend time with nature.

  • Spend Time Alone: Take time for oneself by sitting quietly in a place of interruptions. One can give oneself a pep talk, go for a walk, paint, or write an article. Explore the thoughts and urges when alone, and work on that. This practice, sooner or later, embraces the self-esteem.

  • Take Care of Onerself: It is vital to have a concern about ones physical and mental health. Give priority to the desires, interests, and goals. Never expect others to take care of ones needs; be there for oneself. One should make their own decisions.

  • Avoid the Triggering Elements of Emotional Dependency: Attempt to identify the triggering factors that makes one dependent on someone and get rid of them as soon as possible. For example, triggering factors include stress from external family conflicts or past experiences and flaws.

  • Extend Socialization: Have time with different people than family and friends. Get to know new people in jobs, schools, and colleges. Donate stuff and love.

  • Get Rid of the Past: Many people have fear and anxiety from past experiences that would simply interfere with their present and dependency. Therefore, do not ever recall such thoughts and past relations.

  • Be Independent: It is all about not being too dependent emotionally on others. Dependency is considered healthy only when one moves with respect, empathy, and except for neediness.

  • Meet ones basic needs and manage them on their own. Know what one want and never let others know first.

  • Do not seek permission from others, even for minor stuff.

  • Practice self-love.

  • One should never get angry or guilty when someone disheartens. Instead, take everything in a good and friendly way and sort it out.

  • Practice productive things rather than being lazy around.

  • Have patience.

  • Get guidance from professionals in case of toughness.

Conclusion:

Emotional dependency is not a significant condition or illness to worry about. However, identifying those trigger factors and ensuring self-love and self-time would eventually prevent emotional dependency. End of the day, self-connection and self-esteem matter.

Frequently Asked Questions

1.

How Do I Stop Being Emotionally Dependent?

Although it can be challenging, breaking the emotional dependency cycle is achievable with dedication and hard work. 
Some steps to consider include the following:
- Developing a support system beyond one person
- Practicing self-care and self-love.
- Setting healthy boundaries and sticking to them.
- Two helpful steps in addressing emotional dependency include seeking therapy or counseling to work through underlying issues and actively identifying and challenging negative thought patterns and beliefs.

2.

Is Emotional Dependency Toxic?

Emotional dependency can be toxic if it leads to an unhealthy and imbalanced relationship, where one person heavily relies on another for their emotional well-being. This can cause the other person to feel burdened and overwhelmed, leading to resentment, frustration, and burnout. Therefore, emotional dependency is not inherently toxic, but it can become toxic if it is not managed healthily.

3.

Is Emotional Dependency a Love?

No, emotional dependency is not love. Emotional dependency is not love, although it can be mistaken for it. Love is an emotion that is freely given and received, while emotional dependency is a need often based on fear and insecurity. Emotional dependency can sometimes be mistaken for love, but it is important to recognize their differences to avoid unhealthy relationships.

4.

Is Emotional Dependency a Red Flag?

Emotional dependency can be a red flag in a relationship because it can lead to an unhealthy dynamic where one person is overly reliant on the other. An emotionally dependent relationship's imbalanced nature can lead to resentment and burnout, potentially causing harm to the relationship.

5.

Is Emotional Dependency the Same as Codependency?

Emotional dependency and codependency are similar in that they both involve an unhealthy reliance on another person. However, codependency is typically more severe and involves an excessive focus on the other person's needs at the expense of one's own. 
Codependency is often characterized by a deep need to please others, a fear of rejection or abandonment, and a lack of boundaries. Codependent individuals may sacrifice their own needs and desires to meet the needs of others, often to their detriment. 
Emotional dependency, on the other hand, may involve relying on someone for emotional support and validation. Still, it may not necessarily involve the same level of self-sacrifice and loss of self.

6.

Can Emotional Dependency Be Cured?

Emotional dependency can be cured with effort, self-reflection, and therapy. Overcoming emotional dependency requires a sincere willingness to confront underlying issues and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

7.

What Is the Opposite of Emotional Dependency?

Emotional self-sufficiency is the opposite of emotional dependency, which involves meeting one's emotional needs without relying on another person. It refers to meeting one's emotional needs without relying on another person.

8.

What Does It Mean to Be Emotionally Dependant on Someone?

Being emotionally dependent on someone means a person relies heavily on another person for emotional support, validation, and a sense of self-worth. This dependency can lead to an imbalance in the relationship, where one person gives more than they are receiving, and the other may feel burdened or overwhelmed. Emotional dependency can also lead to a fear of abandonment, a lack of confidence, and difficulty making decisions without the other person's input. It can be challenging to break the cycle of emotional dependency, but it is possible with effort and support.

9.

How Do You Deal With an Emotionally Dependent Partner?

Communicate about emotional boundaries clearly and set limits to provide them in the relationship. Encouraging partner to seek therapy or counseling can help them address their underlying issues and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Also,  avoid enabling their emotional dependency by not taking on responsibility for their emotional well-being, as this can lead to burnout and resentment on your part. Instead, encourage them to take ownership of Their own emotions and work on developing their sense of self-worth and emotional resilience.

10.

How to Break up With Someone Who Is Emotionally Dependent on You?

Breaking up with someone can be challenging, but learning to prioritize own well-being than encouraging being emotionally dependent can help. To have a compassionate and respectful conversation, explaining the reasons for ending the relationship and acknowledging their feelings can help both partners. Also, avoid blaming or shaming them for their emotional dependency and encourage them to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help them work through their emotions.

11.

What Is Another Word for Emotional Dependency?

Another word for emotional dependency is emotional attachment. Emotional attachment refers to a person's bond or connection towards someone or something. Involve in a strong emotional bond that develops over time based on shared experiences, trust, and mutual understanding. Emotional attachment can be positive or negative, depending on the nature of the relationship and the emotions involved. 

12.

What Is Healthy Emotional Dependency?

Healthy emotional dependency involves a balanced and mutually supportive relationship where each person can rely on the other for emotional support and validation. In a healthy emotional dependency, both individuals feel secure and respected and can provide emotional support to each other without becoming overly dependent on the other. They can communicate effectively, set and respect boundaries, and work together to address any issues in the relationship.

13.

What Is Dependency in a Relationship?

Dependency in a relationship refers to the extent to which one person relies on another for emotional, financial, or practical support. Dependency can take different forms and can be healthy or unhealthy depending on the balance of power and the degree to which each person in the relationship can meet their needs.

14.

What Are the Four Types of Dependency Relationships?

The four types of dependency relationships are emotional, financial, physical, and intellectual. 
- Emotional Dependency: This is when one person relies on another for emotional support, validation, and companionship.
- Financial Dependency: This is when one person relies on another for financial support, such as paying bills, providing a home, or buying necessities.
- Physical Dependency: This is when one person relies on another for physical support, such as assistance with mobility, self-care, or medical treatment.
- Intellectual Dependency: This is when one person relies on another for intellectual or cognitive support, such as guidance with decision-making or learning new skills.

15.

Is Dependency Healthy in a Relationship?

A moderate level of dependency can contribute positively to a relationship as it enables each person to seek support and validation from the other. However, when dependency becomes excessive, it can lead to an unhealthy dynamic where one person is overly reliant on the other.
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Paratwar Nayana Kapil
Paratwar Nayana Kapil

Psychologist/ Counselor

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