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Ways To Improve Your Child's Self-Confidence

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Ways To Improve Your Child's Self-Confidence

6 min read


Children pick up new skills at an incredible rate from birth. Along with learning new abilities, they also get the confidence to apply them.

Medically reviewed by

Dr. Sneha Kannan

Published At August 23, 2019
Reviewed AtMay 21, 2024


Self-confidence, also known as self-esteem, has an essential role in the overall personality of an individual. It is the value or merit that the person sets for themself. It simply means how capable the individual feels one is. The perception of one’s self-esteem depends on various factors, like one’s abilities, relationships, and how the person is recognized by the people around them. Positive self-confidence is imperative for healthy and successful living, so it is important to inculcate an optimal level of confidence in the child from the beginning. Certain children, especially those suffering from learning disabilities, attention issues, or developmental delays, usually have a high chance of having low esteem. Such children need special and more help and care to build healthy self-confidence.

What Are the Tips to Build a Child’s Self-Esteem?

  1. Take a step back.

  2. Overindulging in child praise is counterproductive.

  3. Permit the kids to take reasonable chances.

  4. Give children the freedom to choose what they want.

  5. Allow them to assist with household chores.

  6. Motivate them to (completely) pursue their interests.

  7. Express unconditional affection for others.

  8. Ensure that the objectives the child has set for themself are realistic and within their capabilities.

  9. Give deserved recognition.

How to Build Confidence in Kids?

The following methods can be used for building confidence in kids:

  • Encourage the Child: Encouraging children when they try something new is very important to build their self-esteem and also improve their self-confidence. Do not keep praising them every time, but encourage their effort to do a particular task. Overpraising them might make them feel over-pressurized to reach a specific outcome.

  • Let the Child Help With Household Chores: Children can be given small tasks; for example, teaching them how to fold clothes and making them clean the house by keeping their toys back in place. Parents can buy them a plastic knife and teach them basic chopping, like peeling cucumbers and chopping them to make a salad.

  • Do Not Criticize Children: This might not fill negative thoughts in the child's mind, and they might not feel useless or worthless. Further, this will help them become more confident and disciplined.

  • Help the Child Find Their Interests: If the child loves singing, parents can enroll the child in a singing class, or if the kid loves to play football or basketball, encourage them to spare some time for these activities. When the child knows about a particular skill or interest and advances in it, they might feel even more confident and enjoy building their interest as a hobby.

  • Make the Kid Participate in Elocution Competitions or Make Him Talk in Front of a Crowd: All children have a fear of facing and interacting with a large crowd. Parents can help the child overcome this fear by encouraging the kid to take part in elocution competitions or school assemblies, making them familiar with such situations.

  • Praise the Child’s Efforts: Praising the child verbally helps him to recognize their efforts, and try to maintain them or perform better. But this comes with some warnings and limitations. Ensure to praise the child when they are seen trying hard and putting in an effort in something new. Instead of praising them over something they are already good at.

  • Encourage Children to Try New Things: Letting the child try their hands at something new adds to their persona and can even expose their hidden talents. Children should occasionally come out of their comfort zones and take in new challenges. The challenges might be small, but they help in building confidence in kids themselves, particularly in their abilities. For children with special needs, simple tasks that the parents do for them, like making a sandwich, can act as a challenge so they can be coached to do it for themselves, and later they can be praised for whatever effort they put into it.

  • Help the Child Create Reasonable Goals and Achieve Them: Setting goals and achieving them is an excellent method to let the child feel their control over something good. This aids in building their confidence. It is good to guide the child, but also give them the liberty to choose their goals. Ensure that their aims are achievable yet not too easy to achieve. Also, assign a timeline to the child for each goal.

  • Provide Surrounding Support to the Child: The environment and people around also help in developing positive self-esteem. Inspiration and motivation from family members, friends, and teachers in the form of praise and support build confidence in kids in the child. Connecting children with the same age group of individuals who recognize and appreciate them for their talents and abilities is a bonus.

  • Let Kids Learn to Be Problem Solvers: Gradually, the parents should enable the kids to solve their problems themselves and be present only as their guide instead of their problem-solvers. It is inevitable to protect children from the world.

  • Reward Children for their Efforts: Constantly rewarding children for their small and big efforts encourages them to try harder. Little awards like trophies from ‘Improved’ to ‘Trier’ inculcate an internal locus of confidence in them. This can eventually motivate them to become the hero of their own life by handling their activities and problems themselves. Real self-esteem cannot be owned without the feeling and capability to do things independently.

Ways To Improve Your Child's Self-Confidence

What Are the Other Ways of Raising Confident Kids?

  • Even if the parents do not feel confident, set an example for others by having confidence. The positive demeanor and thorough preparation while taking on new duties offer a positive example for children. That does not need the parent to be put on a front of perfection. Although the parents should be aware of their nervousness, try not to let it consume them. Instead, concentrate on the constructive preparations they are making.

  • Do not let errors make children down. Assist children in realizing that mistakes are inevitable and that it is better to move on from them than to wallow in regret. Not because they are certain they will never fail, but rather because they know how to accept losses with grace, confident people do not allow fear of failure to stand in their way.

  • Motivate them to take risks and attempt new things. Children should broaden their interests rather than concentrate all of their efforts on what they are already strong at. Learning new abilities gives children a sense of competence and self-assurance that they can handle any challenge.

  • Let children make mistakes. While it is normal to want to shield kids from failure, youngsters learn by trial and error and come to realize that failing at something is not catastrophic. Additionally, it can encourage kids to put in more effort, which will benefit them as adults.

  • Laud persistence. It is a crucial life skill to learn how to persevere through frustration and not give up after a single failure. Being tough enough to keep trying and not get upset if they do not succeed at something is what defines confidence and self-worth, not always being the greatest at something.

  • Aid children in discovering their passion. Children can cultivate a sense of themselves through pursuing their interests, and identity is a prerequisite for confidence. Naturally, witnessing the development of their talents will also greatly enhance their self-worth.

  • Establish objectives. Kids feel strong when they can articulate and accomplish goals, no matter how big or tiny. Encourage the child to identify the things they would like to achieve to assist them in transforming their aspirations and ambitions into realistic objectives. Next, practice dividing more ambitious objectives into manageable deadlines. The parents will be confirming their passions and assisting them in acquiring the knowledge and abilities necessary to achieve their objectives in life.

  • Honor the effort. While it is wonderful to acknowledge children for their achievements, it is also critical to express pride in their efforts, no matter what happens. Learning new abilities is a labor-intensive process with often delayed results. Show children that the elders appreciate the work they accomplish, whether they are young children learning to play an instrument or teenagers building with blocks.

  • Anticipate their assistance. Even though they may grumble, children who are expected to perform age-appropriate tasks, like tidying up toys, doing dishes, or picking up younger siblings from a playdate, feel more appreciated and connected. While after-school programs and homework are wonderful, it is really important to be needed by family.

  • Accept imperfections. As adults, one can understand that perfection is unachievable, so children must learn this lesson early on. Help children realize that the notion that people are always content, successful, and well-groomed is a damaging delusion that may be found in media like television (TV), magazines, and friends' social media feeds. Remind them instead that imperfection is a natural part of humanity and is acceptable.

  • Make them feel successful. Children should be given opportunities where they can be certain of success in addition to challenges. Encourage the child to participate in activities that will help them gain the comfort and self-assurance they need to take on a greater task.

  • Express affection. Assure the young individual that they are cherished regardless of the outcomes of significant events such as winning or losing a game, or performing well or poorly in school. Emphasize that the elders' love is constant, even in moments of frustration or disappointment. This encouragement can foster a sense of self-worth, reassuring the child that they are valued beyond their achievements and helping to boost their confidence, especially if they struggle with low self-esteem.


It can be difficult to help children with special needs and average children develop positive self-esteem as they face obstacles in life. They can overcome challenges and develop resilience and self-compassion by receiving necessary direction, encouragement, and open communication. Recognizing little accomplishments fosters a nurturing atmosphere that helps kids grow and build strong self-esteem. Acknowledging obstacles as a necessary part of development, they place a strong emphasis on a mindset that values work and education, enabling kids to rise to challenges head-on and lay the groundwork for long-lasting self-worth.

Frequently Asked Questions


Which Activities Boost Child’s Confidence?

A child’s confidence can be boosted with the following activities:
- Portraying a confident appearance.
- Celebrating the wins.
- Think positively and remove negative thoughts from the mind.
- Always keep smiling.
- Think and focus on the skills.


What Causes a Lack of Confidence in Children?

Lack of confidence in a child can occur due to the following reasons.
- Increased performance pressure.
- Comparison with other children.
- Incompetent feelings in a child.
- Family disputes.
- Abuses.
- Perceived disapproval from other people.


What Are the Ways To Increase Self-esteem in Children?

Self-esteem can be increased in children in the following ways:
- Helping a child find their interests.
- By not criticizing them and filling their minds with negative thoughts.
- Involving them with household chores.
- Encouraging children to boost their self-confidence.
- Making a child capable of public speaking through participation in elecution competitions.


How Can a Shy Child Gain Confidence?

A shy child can gain confidence firstly by not calling them ‘shy.’ They should never be compared to their sibling, friends, or others. Shy children should be given time to open up with people at public gatherings and never make them feel they do not fit in the environment. In addition, make them believe that they are accepted the way they are to boost their confidence.


Can Parents Cause Low Self-esteem in a Child?

Over-involved and over-protective parents can cause low self-esteem in a child. It affects not only the child’s self-esteem but their self-confidence because they see the world as defined by their parents.


At What Age Is Self-Confidence Built?

Self-confidence begins to build at the age when a child has gained some sense of independence. It further increases when a child starts developing cognitively and socially.


What Are the Signs of Low Self-esteem in a Child?

The signs of low self-esteem in a child are as follows:
- The child stays isolated and lonely.
- Lack of confidence.
- Think and feels negative about themselves.
- The child finds it difficult to make friends and treat themselves as victims.
- Cannot adapt to new places and find it hard to change.


What Is the Root Cause of the Lack of Confidence?

The root cause of the lack of confidence may include poor academic performance, family or parental disputes, financial problems, or breakdown in relationships. In addition, a lack of confidence can occur from stressful situations in life and trauma or loss of near or dear ones.


How Can We Raise a Confident and Resilient Child?

A child can be made confident and resilient by being a supportive parent. They should be praised and motivated to do better in life. Teaching them to handle their emotions and failures can boost their confidence.


What Destroys a Child’s Self-esteem?

Disrespect, emotional abuse, and downgrading actions and words can destroy a child’s self-confidence. In addition, inducing fear, shame, and anger in a child can also negatively affect their self-esteem.


Which Kind of Parenting Leads to High Self-esteem?

Authoritative parents can build high self-esteem in a child. If parents share healthy and positive relationships with their children, it boosts their confidence, and children also start feeling good about themselves.


What Builds Confidence in a Person?

Confidence can be built in a person by
- Focusing on strengths and achievements.
- Engaging in different challenging activities.
- Building positive relationships with people.
- Focusing on your growth and enhancing your skills.
- Staying away from people who affect progress.


Should We Motivate a Shy Child?

Shy children should be motivated by making them feel comfortable in gatherings and staying with them until they adjust. Parents should not over-comfort their children as it will affect their confidence levels. Do not force them; rather, positively encourage them.


Can the Self-esteem, Inherited or Learned?

A child is not born with any sense of low or high self-esteem; they learn from life experiences about how they feel about themself. It can be influenced by the environment in which the child is born, beliefs, and rejections.
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Quadros Krystel Godfrey Lavina
Quadros Krystel Godfrey Lavina



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