What to do if my wife is abusive and dislikes my family?

Question

Hello doctor,

My wife is very abusive and says the wrong things sometimes. Her mood goes off, and she remains like that for two to three days. After which, I have to make a lot of effort by saying sorry so many times, and then she would become normal. During such a period, she will not talk or talk only through messages or talk in an angry way, and she behaves very angrily. Then she says anything and becomes very angry, and she starts shouting. She has mood swings issues. When she was a month and a half pregnant, her mood was bad for seven straight days. She does not like my parents and sister and does not want them to stay with us. A month back, when my son was born, my parents had come to see the baby. She did not like them visiting and wanted to send them out. But, she could not succeed in sending my parents back, so she forced me to drop her and our son at her parent's place. She does not want to come back, and she says that my mom and sister are doing black magic, and I support them. She is threatening divorce now. Earlier, she told me that during her childhood, her father used to beat her mother and used abusive words. She is very fond of her mother and wants to stay with her mother and does not want to come back. What should I do?

Answer 1

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I read your query and understand your concerns. Use of abusive language, suspiciousness, mood swings lasting for days, excessive irritability, and anger cannot be considered normal, and there is a need to have couple counseling. If she responds well to other people other than your family members, I think there is marital discord playing a role here. The other possibility is, maybe she was forced to marry you, which is very common in our society. The second possibility is a mood disorder. Around 25 % of women experience mood symptoms during post-pregnancy, and it is possible that she suffers from postpartum depression. In any situation, you need to seek a consultation with a psychiatrist. I must inform you that there is a good hope of recovery during the early years of disturbance. I hope this helps you.

Thank you.