Why is my online partner not talking to me properly?

Question

Hi doctor,

There is a girl I know from online for more than three years. I liked her before, but I was too shy to tell her. Last year she opened up that she likes me too. Last summer we talked a lot, daily had calls, movies online, shared pictures. She told me that she loves me, I told her too. Unfortunately, bad things happened to her before me (abusive ex, lost baby, lost cousin). We could not meet yet. Something happened last month, because she seems different. She says that she does not feel anything, and she does not want help nor does she want me to fix her. It feels like she does not love me anymore. I do not know what to do.

Answer 1

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

Long distance relationship has its own pros and cons. Likewise, in your case, in the beginning it was working but one to one direct interaction is always needed to have strong bonding. Especially, in such scenarios where one partner need much emotional support after experincing much losses in life.

Sharing time online can be helpful, but not a long-term solution as discussed above. It might be possible that your friend is suffering much and could not share online things as before and needs physical and emotional support from you.

I would suggest that try to meet her once even if she shows that she does not need help (depressed people avoid taking help quite often) and discuss the issue to better understand the core of problem. Hope it helps.