Why does my son refuse to have a sibling?

This Premium Q&A, reviewed and published, features a real conversation between an iCliniq user and a physician.

Patient's Query

Hello doctor,

My wife is five weeks pregnant and it is the second time. Our first kid is now 6.5 years old. He is totally refusing to have a sibling. He makes statements like "I do not want a brother or a sister". We are a good family like this." He says it is not a good idea to have a baby". He does not want his mother to be fat and has a big tummy. We did not tell him yet that my wife is pregnant. How can we deal with this and would this affect him psychologically?

Answered by Dr. Akanksha Sharma

Hello,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

What you are describing in your child is the normal insecurity of the firstborn child. Whenever there is a second baby expected due to the constant attention that the coming baby gets, the first child gets insecure and feels unsafe as young children have a different mindset. They feel that their parents will be snatched away from them. Also when the second child is born, the elder one craves for more attention from the parents. This is also called sibling rivalry. You need to ensure your elder child that he will be loved and taken care of as earlier. You need to explain to him his responsibilities with the second child and that he is also responsible to take care of the younger child. When you make your child responsible with affection, this fear will slowly go away.

Thank you.

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Medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team

January 14, 2018

January 29, 2024