How can I stop PTSD from getting worse?

Hi doctor,

I am not diagnosed with depression or on medication, but I think I have PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) because I am unable to stop overthinking about it as if I have too much health anxiety or concern. I am unable to keep still in one place. I get tensed and easily triggered by conflict, or drama, or when I hear someone raising their voice, or when they criticize me. My social relationships and skills are deteriorating, and I cannot tolerate the pain because it gives me panic attacks, and I relive conflict in my body all the time. I cannot sleep more than a certain amount of hours. If I have to get up, I just wake up and cannot go back again to sleep. Because of the panic attacks and waking nightmare experiences, I have to go through a really long day of real and imaginary conflicts, and if there was no stress in my day, it feels like my body can create it for me and that I deserve it. I feel too afraid of judgments or having to adjust to change. I have had these symptoms for more than 12 months, and I guess they are getting worse.

I think I have trauma, but I am not sure. I started to have so many confusing thoughts about people betraying me or finding out my vulnerability. I am sure that some people are trying to get me in some way. I am more prone to have 'escape plans' in my mind and detailed scenario on a daily basis. My body is even used to playing the role of surviving, or the victim, to the point of comfortable familiarity. I am afraid I have not especially been present to anything important or anything I love. I have so much emptiness, and I think I can or have less fear when it comes to the thought of self-harming or having to defend myself with force if it had to happen. I am less careful about outcomes, and I think I can be really aggressive without guilt to myself or people, which is something my mind started to think about all the time. I am not talking about suicide or harming people. I just feel a strength that needs to be used. I cannot release this extra energy on people because they will be disappointed, but I feel very paced in my thoughts, and I cannot stop them now if I leave this to get worse. Please help.