I am asking for help to identify what is the things happen on me. I wonder If I am normal or have any mental illness or something else. It has been along time that I start being very negative person. I am so negative about myself, my future and everything almost every single day. I hate myself a lot because I think I am so lack of everything. I always overthinking, worrying about my future even it is a small thing but I took seriously.
I think people annoying about how serious I am over small things. I think I think I made people annoy about me, I am very clumsy person. I am also very talkative person. I do not know if I talk too fast is a normal thing like what my friends said. I am not a relaxed person. I am very tired being myself and always negative about everything. I cannot be positive like others. I trauma with my friend that I met years ago because she keeps body shaming that make me even hate myself and also been traumatic with my roommate because she keep bringing her friends and that why I hate noises because of that until now.
I am using earphone all the time. My parent said I do not have lots of friends. I hope I can see the result soon and I ask for keeping this as my privacy.
I appreciate your courage to share and seek for help. It seems that you are experiencing self-esteem issues due to being body-shamed and other stressors and challenges of life. That is why gradually you are becoming withdrawal from your friends and social activities. It seems you try to be a part of them, but at some moment you feel empty and cannot share things in a better way that makes you feel sad and lonely.
I would recommend you to go for regular therapy to boost your self-esteem and learn about your personality more. Meanwhile following may help:
1. Do physical exercises.
2. Reduce junk food and increase water intake.
3. Write a diary and express your thoughts.
4. Talk to a friend.
5. Go to a counselor for help in therapy.
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