Hello doctor,
I will describe a little bit about myself. I am into my own business that I run from home. I spend most of the time at home due to business. I am an introverted person, and I have no friends in life. I do not like attending family events like marriage; friends get together, etc. I like living life on my own terms in my own world. I do not like traveling long distances as it feels like I am going out of my comfort zone. I want to travel to another city, but traveling 200 km away is difficult for me. I neither feel very happy nor very sad, but you can say my emotions are neutral. I consulted some psychiatrists a few years back about my behavior and took some psychiatry tests online. I find this is a personality disorder, and some call it schizoid, AVPD, etc. Until then, I knew this was a problem in my personality, and I told my wife then. She told me she has no problem and she, too, does not have many friends. She also does not like social gatherings. I think the problem in my personality has not changed much after marriage. I had several breakups in my early to late twenties. The breakups can be for reasons like girls not agreeing, the girl's families not agreeing, incompatibility between us, etc. The problem is I get deeply emotionally involved in any relationship. When the relationship breaks, I cry, feel lonely, and look for another relationship. I moved from one relationship to another in search of finding love. I still think there is emotional emptiness within myself due to these breakups. I sometimes feel alone and listen to sad songs, but I do not know whom I miss. My heart feels something is missing, but I don't know what I'm missing. This aloneness and emptiness are still within me even after marriage. I forget it sometimes while with my wife, but the same feeling comes to me at another moment. I understand I would have been a different person if I hadn't gone through several breakups in my life. The problem in our married life means I no longer feel attracted to my wife. My wife feels more like my mother/friend but not my girlfriend or wife. Neither is my wife doing anything to make me feel attracted to her. I do not find anything attractive after two years of marriage. We have a physical relationship once in one or two weeks, but that feels monotonous though we live together. I am not feeling satisfied with relationship means in terms of communication and emotional support. She cares for me, but it feels like caring as a mother and not a wife. I know she has many problems with me. She wants to travel long distances, but I do not like traveling much. She has some expectations, like gold, etc. that I could not fulfill due to financial problems in my business. She also has a problem because business problems have reduced my earnings. I hope you can provide some solution to my problem.