I feel so down and inferior to everyone. Why?

Question

Hi doctor,

I feel so down and inferior to everyone. While growing up, I got everything I wanted. I had the best childhood. I was not the most pleasant kid though. I was mean and I wish now I could change it. I thought I was the cool kid. In middle school, I was bullied without actually letting it get to me. I feel like it mentally affected me even though I did not want it to. I was called short and ugly and make fun of. Regardless, somehow I let it go and now I feel inferior to everyone. Everything I do makes me feel like I do not belong. When I am on the train I feel like everyone is looking at me. When I am hanging out with my friends I feel like I have to be someone else. I want to be more outgoing. Please help.

Answer 1

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

It is said that a child is a father of man. Ever wondered what does that even mean? It means what we are as an adult is the end result of our childhood experiences. Our desires, traumas, fears and impulses all are working with our unconscious mind. These are the basic driving forces. Our personality is sketched by our childhood. So, today if you feel inferior and having low self-esteem, then it may be because of the unforgiving and unforgettable insults such as bullying that you faced during your childhood. But, our personality is dynamic. It has great plasticity and we can mould it by our will and efforts. You need to understand that you are not a person you want to be in other's eyes. You are the person who you are from within. You need not try hard to please others. You need not be a perfect person in the world. You need to be a man who is happy with himself. Nobody is perfect, neither physically nor emotionally. You feel low when you tend to perceive the outer world to be better than you, which is not. A person is a better person when he is spiritually and emotionally mature and resilient. It is a big virtue. So, try to be assertive because you need to convey what you want. You need to love yourself because you are a good human being. You need to magnify your abilities and miniaturize your physical inadequacies because they do not matter when it comes to evolve and grow as a person. The world is so much hungry for goodness and kindness. You become the medium to contribute some goodness to the world. You will be content. Thank you