I am a 27 year old male. I have been married for one and a half years, but I cannot forget my ex-girlfriend. I fell in love with a girl, and one day it was all over because she cheated me. We were in the relationship for eight years. The first time when I discovered that she was cheating on me, I ignored it because I was truly in love with her. But when she cheated again, I could not ignore and decided to call off our relationship. But, she told me that she is an immature girl (at the age of 25 years), feeling guilty for it and wants to continue the relationship. However, I could not trust her any longer and decided to quit.
A few months after the breakup, I had an arranged marriage with a girl from my own family. She is a nice, average-looking girl. I do try to love her and fulfill all her desires. We have an ideal life for the outside world. But, I do not have any sexual feelings for her. Whenever I foreplay with her, I hardly feel sexually aroused, and I do not get enough erection for penetration. We have sex twice or thrice a month. I had a capsule given by my friend before sex to keep my erection hard to penetrate. As the capsule had Viagra, I stopped taking it a few months ago, and I did not have sex with my wife since last two to three months.
First, I thought I have ED, but I do get very hard morning erections or if I watch a romantic scene on the TV. I also feel sexually aroused whenever I think about my ex-girlfriend. Even though I try to have the same feelings for my wife, I do not have any. I never thought I would be a sad and depressed guy at the age of 27. Sometimes, I close my eyes and pray that my life would end, because I do not want to live a life where I could not love my wife and also could not forget my ex-girlfriend. She is in my senses, and it is killing me. I am living a traumatic life and have fake happiness on my face for the sake of my family. Please help me.