Why do I feel abandoned?

Q. Why do I have strange feelings of being abandoned?

Answered by
Dr. Hardik Tusharkant Bambhania
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Mar 24, 2016 and last reviewed on: Jun 16, 2023

Hi doctor,

I am suffering from anxiety for years now and I got with my boyfriend seven months ago. I have never been so happy, I love him more than anything and we have plans for the future together. But, I would worry every day about him leaving me or finding someone better which I know is stupid because he has told me over and over again he never will. The other day I felt really strange like I have no feelings or emotions and find it hard to kiss him or miss him. It makes me feel like I do not love him which I know is not true and it is starting to get me down. I am not sure if this could be something to do with the anxiety. Because, it seems to have got worse lately to the point, where I do not enjoy going out like I used to. I used to prefer to stay in, I feel no love for my family and now I find it hard to cope like I am going insane, but I know this is not me. I have always been caring and I love hard. But, now I feel nothing. I do not know what is wrong with me. Could it be depression?



Welcome to icliniq.com.

As I read through your question, I find that the worry of being abandoned by your boyfriend is apparent in your thoughts. It may be normal to feel this way to a certain extent. However, this feeling is accompanied by emotional blunting towards him and your family. Since you have had anxiety for years now, I would have liked to know whether you took any medications for it. And how you coped with it? To address the thoughts of being left alone, I would suggest you write down your thoughts on a paper and then write in front of each of them what makes you think that way; whether it is due to a similar experience in your past. In the third column, you should write down what fact may be supporting that thought of yours being true currently or in the future. This method is cognitive behavioral therapy and it will be helpful to dissuade your particular worries and concerns. If the feeling of anxiety does not go away after the above-mentioned exercise, you may consult a psychiatrist, to know if you should be taking any medicines. Alongside, you may try and practice mindfulness meditation. It will calm your mind and slow down the train of worrisome thoughts. Pranayama yoga is also beneficial for relaxing and 15 minutes of it every day will go a long way. I am certain that you will definitely do very well as you have a partner who confides in you and the relationship. Communication with him as well as a positive monologue with you will always help.

Thank you.

The Probable causes:

Generalized anxiety disorder.

Differential diagnosis:

1. Generalized anxiety disorder.

2. Depression.

Treatment plan:

Cognitive behavioral therapy.

Preventive measures:


Regarding follow up:

For further information consult a psychologist.

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