My boyfriend moved to another city and I miss him so much. How to handle this situation?

Question

Hi doctor,

I am in a relationship for the past four years and my boyfriend has now moved to another city. We were in the same college and I used to hang out with him daily. But, now things have changed. He is busy there with his life. We are talking so less and so I cry some days. I am not even able to study. I just miss him all the time. Please give me a solution. It is affecting my life.

Answer 1

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I completely understand that you feel disturbed as your boyfriend moved to another city. It is a natural human reaction to feel sorrow, low, or depressed after a loss or failure. We call this grief. Although he is still in your life and sometimes you talk to him, this cannot be considered a loss. The feelings you are experiencing are similar to grief. You need to identify the meaning of his departure in your life. For this, you need to ask yourself a few questions. Is he gone forever from your life? Has he left you? Are crying, being sorry, and worrying about healthy ways to deal with your relationship when you and your partner are going through a tough time in life? What can be other healthy ways or solutions to deal with the situation? These questions will help you redefine the situation of your life. I suggest you some things to cope better in this crucial time of your relationship.

1. Do share your thoughts and feelings with your partner.

2. Missing your loved one is a positive emotion. Communicate it with your partner. As you mentioned that there are a few moments when you both talk, make this shorter time well productive and good that you both miss talking to each other instead of feeling bad.

3. Find meaning in your life. Think about your interests and what you want to do in life. Now you have more time available to focus and work out to reach your goals. Share your plans with your partner. Get new ideas to spend your time in a more productive and healthy way.

4. Be around people instead of spending time alone, because it generates the feeling of loneliness even if you are surrounded by lots of people who can help and support you in this hard time of your life.

5. Spend time with your friends and find enjoyment in life. Do whatever you enjoy. It can be anything as listening to music, doing exercise, eating your favorite food, traveling, wearing your favorite dress or aroma, etc.

6. Do a relaxation exercise or deep breathing to calm yourself down. Sit in a comfortable position, take a deep breath, focus on the air going in and out, and imagine something positive. Do this exercise every day.

Thank you.