What causes a person to abuse others when drunk?

Question

Hello doctor,

I am wondering if I am in an emotionally abusive relationship. My boyfriend and I are, for the most part, happy, except when he drinks, he lashes out at me. He brings up my past and says I am disgusting, even though he knows it already bothers me. He calls me names. He asks how many people I have slept with. He gets mad at me for dreams that he has had about me cheating on him and constantly reminds me that if he finds out I am cheating, he will leave me lonely. He makes jokes about me, laughs, and tells me to stop being so sensitive. It is next to impossible to tell him to stop because he is drunk, and if I end the conversation, I get accused of ignoring him, and he gets even more angry. And then he wakes up and sobers up, apologizes, and admits being wrong in what he said. Could this behavior escalate, and is there any way this issue can be resolved? Please suggest.

Thank you.

Answer 1

Hello,

Welcome to iclniq.com.

I understand your concern.

This is typical behavior in a drinker. Alcohol disinhibits the subconscious mind. Also, this kind of suspension about the wife's infidelity is a psychological side effect of alcohol.

The good thing here is that it happens only when he is drunk. As to whether this will improve or worsen, if his drinking stops, this will no doubt improve, but if he continues to drink, it could worsen. Tell your partner that you want him to stop drinking. You could even make it a condition for him to continue the relationship.

Motivate him to quit. Record his behavior on a camera and show it to him when he is sober. Then, consult a psychiatrist. There are drugs to reduce the urge to drink. Also, if he is drinking to self-treat his depression, antidepressant drugs could help as well. Also, Antabuse is effective in reducing drinking.

I hope you find this helpful.

Thank you.