How can a married man deal with his attraction towards another girl?

Hello doctor,

I will narrate a story about my marriage and another girl in my life. I have been married to my wife for the last two years and have no children. It was a long-distance relationship; we married after four years of knowing each other. I had several broken relationships before her, and I felt an emotional emptiness. During the four years, I spent with my wife, I was trying to forget the pain associated with my breakup. I developed a love for my wife not because of true love but because I was not getting anyone then. I was helping her financially during those years. Finally, I married at 33 when I was getting older. I was not 100 % into marriage but 70 % interested then. I thought everything would be fine with time. My wife also had a love affair before marriage. She disclosed a little bit about it before marriage. After marriage, she said she was seriously in a relationship and still has not forgotten her ex. She sometimes says her ex was better than me, she would have lived happily if married to her ex. I know she still has a soft corner for her ex. She told me she was not interested in marriage and married me because of my financial help to her. We currently live at my parent's house in town. It is not that both of us do not care or love each other. It feels like the love has evaporated between two souls, and us staying together just for the sake of marriage. I sometimes feel the reason both of us got married was different. My wife complains I am not doing anything to make her feel special. I think, what can I do if I do not feel love and affection for her naturally myself? The problem in our married life has been there since last many months. I am currently attracted to another girl who has been working in my office for the last few months. We started having feelings for each other. It is nothing physical relationship but love and friendship. I cannot stop myself from talking or chatting with this girl in my office. My wife knows about it. The girl I love is getting married in the next few weeks, which is an arranged marriage, and she is not completely happy with the marriage but doing it due to family reasons. I am feeling emotionally helpless and not good due to her marriage plan. I think my mind is attracted to other girls because I am unsatisfied with my married life. I do not know what I should do. I am emotionally attached to this girl, and that was probably missing with my wife. Sometimes I keep thinking about continuing this relationship with the girl in my office even after her marriage. Both my wife and the girl are four or five years younger than me. Sometimes I think of divorcing my wife and marrying this girl from my office. I know it is not easy, and our relationship is not so bad that it requires a divorce. At the same time, it neither makes us happy. Please suggest what I should do.

Hello doctor,

I will describe a little bit about myself. I am into my own business that I run from home. I spend most of the time at home due to business. I am an introverted person, and I have no friends in life. I do not like attending family events like marriage; friends get together, etc. I like living life on my own terms in my own world. I do not like traveling long distances as it feels like I am going out of my comfort zone. I want to travel to another city, but traveling 200 km away is difficult for me. I neither feel very happy nor very sad, but you can say my emotions are neutral. I consulted some psychiatrists a few years back about my behavior and took some psychiatry tests online. I find this is a personality disorder, and some call it schizoid, AVPD, etc. Until then, I knew this was a problem in my personality, and I told my wife then. She told me she has no problem and she, too, does not have many friends. She also does not like social gatherings. I think the problem in my personality has not changed much after marriage. I had several breakups in my early to late twenties. The breakups can be for reasons like girls not agreeing, the girl's families not agreeing, incompatibility between us, etc. The problem is I get deeply emotionally involved in any relationship. When the relationship breaks, I cry, feel lonely, and look for another relationship. I moved from one relationship to another in search of finding love. I still think there is emotional emptiness within myself due to these breakups. I sometimes feel alone and listen to sad songs, but I do not know whom I miss. My heart feels something is missing, but I don't know what I'm missing. This aloneness and emptiness are still within me even after marriage. I forget it sometimes while with my wife, but the same feeling comes to me at another moment. I understand I would have been a different person if I hadn't gone through several breakups in my life. The problem in our married life means I no longer feel attracted to my wife. My wife feels more like my mother/friend but not my girlfriend or wife. Neither is my wife doing anything to make me feel attracted to her. I do not find anything attractive after two years of marriage. We have a physical relationship once in one or two weeks, but that feels monotonous though we live together. I am not feeling satisfied with relationship means in terms of communication and emotional support. She cares for me, but it feels like caring as a mother and not a wife. I know she has many problems with me. She wants to travel long distances, but I do not like traveling much. She has some expectations, like gold, etc. that I could not fulfill due to financial problems in my business. She also has a problem because business problems have reduced my earnings. I hope you can provide some solution to my problem.